Greased My Palm

 When the head line, heart line, life line and fate line connect it can create a letter “M” in the palm of the hand. It means you are blessed with good fortune. It is a sign of strong intuition. Not everybody has an “M” in their hand, are you one of the chosen few?

I am sitting here, staring at the enormous “M” I have in my right palm, and feeling blessed and encouraged, I’m feeling validated.

 The “M” is a sign of strong intuition and creativity, as well as determination and career growth…

There is a stirring in my memory and I intuitively look at my left palm. Astonishingly, I also have a huge “M” in the centre of my left palm. I am very special, I am so rare, I have two “M”s, one in each hand. I am a doubly supremely perceptive person.

But there is a nagging memory in the back of my mind…

You are special, you are chosen…

And then the memory drops into the light.

I am eleven years old, and I am browsing in the bargain basement of a grim little seaside junk shop. I pick up a slightly damp-stained, battered blue linen bound Edwardian book, “Cheiro’s Book of Mystic Chiromantic Palmistry”. I sit in the corner of the shop and read the book and discover I have an “M” in my palm, on both my palms. I buy the book and devour it over many years.

Those with an “M” in the palm have great power of perception and curiosity…

And there again, is the nagging doubt in the back of my head, the vague remembering that everybody I spoke to at school about my palmistry discoveries also had an “M” in their palm. Or am I imagining that?

A person with an “M” in their palm will be successful in whatever field they choose, they will become famous painters, they will excel in the world  of literature…

It dawns on me that I have known for decades that I have the miraculous  “M”s in my hands – but then so does everyone else. I wonder what happened to that book after I left home.

 The “M” indicates a hugely successful, driven and intuitive individual, whose personality ensures money will flow to them organically…

On seaside holidays my Mum was an avid frequenter of fortune telling booths, I would be dragged around fairgrounds, left to wait outside the tent while Mum had her cards, or palms, or bumps, or tealeaves read. So I have stood aside at the threshold of the psychic carnival all my life. And with my great intuition I can see that all is not as it seems.

If you have an “M” you will never fail in your endevours…

The psychics would always ask my Mum if she was searching, did she search? was she a seeker? then they ask her if she herself is a psychic. And that was the hook, she greased their palms and stepped into the light. My mum was always beside herself, delighted, she would talk about it for days. “you know, I do think I am psychic” she would say. “I do believe I am”. Fortune tellers gave her the validation she sought.

As for me with my many years of failure and discontent lengthening by the day, I’m a bit more cynical.

  As a person blessed with the “M” marking on your palm anything is possible for you… Sign up to our monthly guide to psychic success for only £4.99 a month.

The Future Food

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a person in possession of a long-term vegetarian habit, must be in want of a bacon buttie” I was thinking, as I browsed the vegan meats section in the supermarket, when I suddenly spotted the fake bacon rashers on special offer. The gleaming strips of firm pink flesh and soft white fat lay side by side in the plastic tray looking for all the world like real bacon rashers.

I had no qualms, I’d already tried fake bacon lardons by the same brand and although it wasn’t at all bacon-like it had worked well in a fake Carbonara. Both the texture and flavour were off, it was flaky and had a strong salted taste of smoked fish. The fake bacon lardons wasn’t at all bacon-like, but it was pleasant enough and indeed satisfied a 30 year long craving for kippers that I never even knew I had.

I was keen to see what else I was missing.

At the checkout the cashier laughed “What is THAT?” she asked “fake bacon” I replied. “It looks like they let a 5 year old make it out of play-doh” She laughed again.

“I’ll let you know” I said.

And so for brunch today, I decided to do myself a proper fry-up, mushrooms, baked beans, linda macartney bangers, tomatoes, scrambled tofu, hash browns, wholemeal toast, a big mug of black tea and the fake bacon rashers, an all day vegan full english to write home about. I decided to fry  the fake bacon (as per the instructions on the packet) in the same pan as the mushrooms – two beautiful big open-cup portobellos sliced in fat wedges, I was looking forward to mopping up their black oily ink with the doorstop thick slices of organic wholemeal toast. The mushrooms had been sizzling away and were just getting there when I plopped in the fake bacon rashers, and in that moment brunch just went to shit. Two minutes each side (as per the instructions on the packet) and the fake bacon literally turned into actual fried play-doh, it rendered into stringy knots of white and pink twine, which melted, stuck, and sucked up my lovely mushroom jus. It indelibly coated the bottom of my frying pan in candy-coloured fibrous sludge. I think it might have permanently damaged the stainless steel.

Now, I think it is almost impossible to ruin a fry-up, you can slightly burn, over crisp, or blacken but it’s a fry-up so its always good anyway. Believe me,  this was, without a doubt, the worst fry-up of my entire life.

I was thinking I’d tell the supermarket cashier that she was right about the 5 year olds play-doh fake bacon, but at least a 5 year old knows that bacon is food. I have a theory that the fake bacon was created on a 3D printer, under the direction of an A.I that hadn’t been told that the fake bacon was supposed to be cooked and eaten.

This is the future I see – Artificially intelligent fake bacon, eaten by anthropomorphs with 6 and half fingers that bend the wrong way, who have “serving suggestion only” written on their foreheads.

King of Potato

Emblazoned gold on unfurling crimson swags, the cracked old bone china cup read:  “King Edward VIII Coronation 1936”.

They paid cash, crisp twenty pound notes. The assistant slid the tissue wrapped  commemorative cup  across the counter. “Dad, why did he abdicate?” The youngster asked as they left the shop.

Later, they sat on a park bench. The son handed his father a small hammer. The older man placed the King Edward parcel on the ground and smacked it smartly, a single cracking strike.

“Because, Son” he explained as he dropped the smashed memorial in the bin. “He was a Nazi”.

Running over the same old ground

I login in an effort to drag my head out of this bad-B-movie-sci-fi-horror we are living through at the moment, here’s something I wrote earlier…even a collage I did in Europe last century.

What Time? Collage by Bella Basura 1994
What Time? Collage by Bella Basura 1994

Time Warp In The ‘dam

“Sooooo” She drew the word out with undisguised relish “What are we going to do with our last night in Amsterdam, eh?” She laughed, poked him in the ribs and stretched out languorously  across the counterpane, sprawled like a self-satisfied cat. “Our last night as twisted British rock-star and unofficial girlfriend, cut adrift in the city of sin?”
“Just give it a rest” He mumbled. “I’m going to sleep”
“No no no” She laughed “Lets live a while before we go back to our boring lonely adulterous reality.”
He turned away and She could see he was already half way back there, miserable and contemplating meeting his wife again after eight days half-explained absence.
“Look! what do you want from me?” She wheedled

He said “I don’t want nothing”

“Fine, nothing. I’m going to get something to eat then” she was rummaging in the supermarket carrier bag on her bedside table, smacking her lips. “a crisp buttie in a cheap hotel room, hahaha” she laughed.”Rawk ‘n’ Roll!”
“that’s pathetic” he sneered “you’re not really very rock’n’roll at all are you, with your carrier bag of crisp butties”
“yeah, well you’re not really a rock star are you” she countered

He sat up on the bed “I’ve got my following” He was irked.

“Yeah, but not in Britain, eh? Only in Holland and places where they can’t understand what you’re singing about. Are you big in Japan?”
“I’ve got my following”
“What does your wife think?” she knew she was probing to be provocative “Does she think? Your wife?”

“No, she doesn’t think, she looks after the kids and stuff like that, she doesn’t need to think. Will you just get off my case” He switched the light off, plunging the hotel room into the vague neon gloom that passes for night in the city.

She took off her rings, her jewellery and watch, she lay back fully clothed on top the bed. It was one of those sinking moments, she began to wonder why she’d come along at all. It had sounded great when he’d first mentioned the tour, – his first solo tour,  a week in the Low Countries, hotels and food all in, she only had to find the money for the fares. The fares, that was her fare, and – “Could you lend me the money, just until they pay me at the gigs” – his fare too. Funny how his pay had diminished, then disappeared after the first few venues, they’d been living off her savings all week. She closed her eyes in disgust, she hadn’t known about the wife either.

Drifting in half-sleep she ruminated in growing disappointment, she dreamt of their first meeting in the pub all those weeks ago. Dipping in and out of hypnogogic sleep-states, she saw him as a giant tape-worm , all mouth and arsehole, perched on a barstool downing pints, glass and all, gurgling about the losers in the band he’d just dumped, “Losers every one of them, even if they are famous now, deep down they’re born losers” he kept repeating. Was she really so gullible? Had she really been that stupidly smitten with him?

Suddenly, she was wide awake, she peered at her watch in the gloom, the hands on the retro-style dial read 1.35. Amsterdam would still be kicking she decided, plenty of time to still have fun before the flight back at 9am tomorrow. She tucked her handbag into the suitcase – she intended to do the rockstar’s girlfriend debauchery bit to the hilt, no point in carrying valuables around, in this sort of mood chances were she’d lose her handbag in the first bar, best leave her passport, plane tickets and bits in the suitcase. She grabbed her leather jacket, stuffed the last of her dope and cash into the zippered pocket and headed for the door. “I’m off out, looking for some dirty fun. You coming?”

“I’m asleep” the rock star grumbled.

The street seemed uncannily quiet as she stepped from the hotel lobby, she began walking, seeing nobody. In fact, the usually bustling lanes around the hotel seemed totally empty,  every where seemed to be closed, even the trams had shut down. Some City of Sin this is, she thought heading for the nearest coffeeshop.

But even the coffeeshop was dark and so she plonked herself down on a bench, spun herself up a mini-spliff and gazed forlornly into the grimy green of the canal. She wondered when Amsterdam had become so conservative, since when had Europe’s most alive city become a post-midnight deadspot. In the preternaturally tranquil streets she thought she sensed a weird glowing, growing light, as if night were turning to morning. An unusual sensual response, she thought, I must be very stoned, Good Sense, Amelia she said to herself. Spliff done she headed on towards the city’s main drag, the stoned light was definitely intensifying, in fact there really did seem to be a streak of sunrise smearing the east horizon. She crossed the canal into Oudeshans to the charming chiming of the Montelbaanstoren clock tower. One two three chimes, then four five six seven eight.  eight?  Looking up to the big clock face on the tower her heart did a strange faltering flip, she unstrapped her wristwatch and as she turned it through 180 degrees she turned 2.30am to 8am. She laughed momentarily, realising she’d put the wrist watch on upside down in the darkness of the hotel room, she’d had a time warp, she laughed at herself, at the idea of Amsterdam gone moderate, she laughed, even though she’d just lost  five and half hours of her life, and she hadn’t even been drunk. She laughed.

It was full daylight by the time she got back to the hotel. The room was empty, the suitcases gone, he’d already left. There was a note for her on the dirty rumpled bedsheets. “I’ve gone home. Where’s the money? I couldn’t even get breakfast! Where are you?”

Bella Basura
August 2019 edit

Reposted december 2020
999 words

Home
Slush Pile Bonanza
Recordings and Films
Bella Basura portfolio
about Bella Basura
Esoterranean Books
psychogeography
Jean Dark

Follow Bella Basura on:
Twitter
Facebook
Tumblr
Youtube
Instagram

Edgewords 3 is here!

Join us for our launch event tomorrow at The Edge Cafe at 7pm (doors open 6:30pm), where the contributors will be sharing their wild encounters. Entry is free. Copies of Edgewords £5 (all proceeds to The Edge Cafe, for its work supporting people in recovery from addiction).

A Gathering of Dead Stories Begins…

A short while ago, during a particularly dark patch, I watched The Great Hack documentary and Charlie Brooker’s Bandersnatch in rapid succession.

It didn’t much help my mood. And I’ve really gone off social media and computer games a bit since then.

Which is how come I have been reading a lot, and re-reading many of own my failed stories which are filed away in cardboard boxes under my bed. And so that’s how come I am gathering them here, under the title Slush Pile Bonanza

The next piece was written earlier this year. I abandoned it because it felt way too dark, and I couldn’t find a laugh in there.

Scene Beyond The Rape Yard by Bella Basura 2019

Scene Beyond The Rape Yard by Bella Basura 2019

Beyond the Rape Yard

Every night she was tortured by the sounds.
She lay awake, at best half-asleep, hearing the far-off grunts and snarls, the yelps and screams.
Screams, she heard, she was sure…MORE..

======================================================

Home
Slush Pile Bonanza
Recordings and Films
Bella Basura portfolio
about Bella Basura
Esoterranean Books
psychogeography
Jean Dark

Follow Bella Basura on:
Facebook
Tumblr
Youtube
Instagram

Slush Pile Bonanza

This is the first installment of a collection of my previously unpublished stories, gunk from my personal Slush Pile…

This first story is from 4 or 5 years ago.

What Time? Collage by Bella Basura. Spain 1994.

What Time?
Collage by Bella Basura. Spain 1994.

Time Warp In The ‘dam

“Sooooo” She drew the word out with undisguised relish “What are we going to do with our last night in Amsterdam, eh?” She laughed, poked him in the ribs and stretched our languorously  across the counterpane, sprawled like a self-satisfied cat. “Our last night as twisted British rock-star and unofficial girlfriend, cut adrift in the city of sin?”…MORE..

 

 

 

 

===========================================================

Home
Slush Pile Bonanza
Recordings and Films
Bella Basura portfolio
about Bella Basura
Esoterranean Books
psychogeography
Jean Dark

Follow Bella Basura on:
Twitter
Facebook
Tumblr
Youtube
Instagram

Strawberry Fair Armpit Hair 13 years on…

 

Bella Basura Still Showing her Armpit Hair to Strawberry Fair. Scarecrow Corner 2019. Photo by Del Blyben

Bella Basura Still Showing her Armpit Hair to Strawberry Fair. Scarecrow Corner 2019. Photo by Del Blyben

 

In the 1990s one of my favourite small press publications was the seminal  Unlimited Dream Company series – Towards 2012 – it’s editor – Gyrus – produced a stable of beautifully themed cutting edge factual anthologies at the end of the twentieth century.

In 2006 Gyrus started a new journal – Dreamflesh, which he subtitled “A Journal of  Body, Psyche, Ecological Crisis and Archaeologies of Consciousness”. The list of contributors was an impressive roll call of writers working in marginal spiritual and philosophical paradigm, the whole was a smorgasbord of the strange and the alluring.

Dreamflesh Journal cover art by Amodali

Dreamflesh Journal cover art by Amodali

This month (August 2017) Gyrus has been posting the whole journal online, reprinting the articles and drawing out ideas that have persisted and flourished in the intervening 11 years.

In the web reprise  Gyrus summarises the  project: “Dreamflesh Journal documented an eclectic range of ideas, investigations and experiments informed by this complex ecopsychological framework. Essays, interviews and art ranged over many facets of human and non-human life that seem to be important to this transition: dreams, altered states, visionary media, occultism, sexuality & gender, animism, collective intelligences, psychosomatic healing, bodily symbolism, cognitive linguistics, new materialism, creatively disciplined prehistorical and anthropological studies, images & spirit (iconoclasm, idolatry, anthropomorphism, fetishism), death & dying, depth psychology, ecology… to name a few.”

Back in 2005, when I first heard that Gyrus was planning to edit a new journal I wrote a piece specially, my concern was female facial and body hair and I enjoyed myself writing a selected history of hirsute women. Then I sent in off to Gyrus.

A few months later  I heard it had been accepted. I was delighted to have my piece included in Dreamflesh, it  gave me the biggest readership I had ever had, I felt like I’d arrived, more than this, I felt I’d  been accepted into a publication so inspiring that it left me in awe. And the Journal was certainly well-received, The Guardian called it “a bastion of the esoteric”, and not long after the Journal was released it was reviewed in Fortean Times “There is a dimension way, way out where flesh and dream coalesce, explored by people with names such as Orryelle Defenstrate-Bascule, Gyrus, Bella Basura, Pablo Amaringo and Lars Holger Holm, not to mention the formidible Dave Lee”. And that wasn’t all, wonderfully, Genesis Breyer P-Orridge, the transgender founder of Throbbing Gristle and Psychic TV, wrote of Dreamflesh “I felt EXCITED as I read. No mean feat. I truly was inspired”.

In the original introduction to the Journal Gyrus evaluated the role of traditional publishing in an increasingly digitized world, “The existence of the web can goad us into a sharper awareness of how print media impact the environment, in turn encouraging us all — in both writing and reading — to try to make every piece of paper and every drop of ink count. ”

Read Strawberry fair Armpit Hair

Dreamflesh online Journal

Performance Photographs

 

A revised Strawberry Fair Armpit Hair was reprinted in March 2016 Novelty Online Magazine in their Under The Skin issue, the magazine website now seems to be down, but they still have a facebook presence.

——————————————————————————————————————–

Home
Bella Basura portfolio
about Bella Basura
Esoterranean Books
psychogeography
Jean Dark

Follow Bella Basura on:
Twitter
Facebook
Tumblr
Youtube
Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drabble Blog

I recently found out that the 100 word flash-fiction/micro-stories I have been working these past three years have an actual name – “Drabble”.

The term is derived from a 1971 Monty Python book. ’nuff said!

There’s even a website to prove it.

So, ever at the rebellious cutting-edge, my newest piece – a seasonally appropriate monologue – is a variant-drabble form I’ve just invented.

It’s called a “Faux-Drabble”.

That is a piece that could pass for a drabble, but is actually 15 or so words out.

And so, I present to you Bella Basura’s First Faux-Drabble.

Cold Edges

My winter consciousness feels bound within cold edges.

I am double-thermal long-johns.

And still my ankles are frozen blue.

They  descend into hypothermic dysfunction, squishing like icy jelly when I stand on them.

 My knees feel chilly. And my elbows.

I can’t leave the house, enraptured in my unnatural attachment to a radiator. “I love You. I want to envelope you. I want to lie all over you”. I say the same to my fur-covered hot water bottle. Hot chocolate and fleecy throws seduce me. Candles and a ‘real’ fire screen-saver on my laptop too. Hygge hygge hygge my arse.

Green and pleasant, England’s winters are mild, but still my consciousness always feels bound within cold edges.

Bella Basura January 2019

—————————————————————————————————————————————-

Home
Bella Basura portfolio
about Bella Basura
Esoterranean Books
psychogeography
Jean Dark

Follow Bella Basura on:
Twitter
Facebook
Tumblr
Youtube
Instagram

Short Change Short Bread

Okay! So Facebook tells me I have 486 fans who haven’t heard from me for a while…Hey There! I’m going to make it up to you with this dinky little flash fiction I wrote on X-mas Eve…

Muntjac Deer at my Birdfeeder December 2018

Muntjac Deer at my Birdfeeder December 2018

 

Short Change Short Bread

It would be wrong to say that I hate Christmas. It’s Xmas that I hate.
I make this distinction based solely on the evidence of one article on the internet which may or may not have been written by enthusiatic christians, or even xians. They define Christmas as a celebratory festival for the birth of The Christ. They call X-mas – the X-kiss of Mamon.
It’s pitting mercy against greed, Jesus versus Santa, like in the South Park Episode.
So, I say it’s X-mas, the knee-jerk consumerist spending frenzy of kiss-mamon-mas that I hate.
I seen it when I go into town in December, I see people herding the streets in viral catatonias, bleeping out their data, maxing out their plastic, all sightless under the glamour of a single minded compulsion to engage in monetary exchange.
And if I’m honest, I seen it start with Black Friday and now Cyber Monday, and then January Sales throughout December. Elongating the whole sordid orgy into a slow panting panicked climax  lasting several months. I seen people filming themselves in wide-eyed apoplexy as they clasp black boxed electronic trophies to their heaving breast, their mind’s eye fixated on X-mas. Mamon kiss my arse.
Rage. I seen them wander the halls of Grand Arcade Shopping Mall shedding psychic 50 pound notes, like autumn trees shed leaves. I seen it all, worse than the Night of the Living Dead.

So, I am writing this on Xmas Eve Morning contemplating my ill-advised quest into the city centre to use some gift vouchers on some new underwear (solid big knickers from M+S). I am standing stuck in an hour long queue in Marks staring at their Definitive Short Bread Collection, incidentally curated by some half-has-been you-tube culinary star. My eyes jerk among the Skottie Dog shaped gift boxes, floribundances of tartan and stags horns, the wobbly Ben-Nevis-picture-postcard topped tins, the basics economy line wrapped in vegetable-derived bio-degradable cellophane. I feel transfixed with confusion. I feel like I am falling forward into an infinite vortex. I am torn by the urge to spend all my money and a fear of debt that tugs at a cellular level. I am experiencing a strange psychic dissonance. I feel high. I feel high, like maybe a compulsive gambler feels during a horse race, like a sex-addict hunting out ever more repulsive porn, like shrodinger’s cat crouched in the gloom waiting for dinner time. The queue for the check out unfurls ahead of me, endless to a far unseen horizon. I haven’t mentioned the seasonal music pumping out. I will not mention the in-store music.
When suddenly a bell-clear voice, my own voice, rings out pristine inside my head. “But I don’t need any Short Bread”. I am swept back to my queuing reality. I feel sucked at and plucked at, unsteady as I realise that – No! I don’t need any fucking Short Bread. There will always be Short Bread, there will always be more Short Bread. Every Aunty in the UK brings Short Bread at X-mas. My mum brings Short Bread, in fact my Mum doesn’t leave the house in December without a tin of Short Bread tucked into the bottom of her Bag-For-Life. There will always be Short Bread. I don’t need to buy Short Bread.

It feels like silence falls around me, mouths move but no sound comes out, the queue to the checkouts, the altars of the mass of Mamon, surges and undulates like a mexican wave of wealth, a John Carpenter film in real-time. Except now I know I don’t need no Short Bread, I am freed from that spell.
Fortified with my newly realised knowledge I leap out from the queue, flinging my packet of over-priced knickers to the floor, witnessing aloud, let the spirit flow through me that I am a just conduit for the voice of his love, I call out loud in my favourite voice-“No! I will not kiss my arse with the Mamon-pants of Yule! No! No! I will not!”.

 

—————————————————————————————————————————————-

Home
Bella Basura portfolio
about Bella Basura
Esoterranean Books
psychogeography
Jean Dark

Follow Bella Basura on:
Twitter
Facebook
Tumblr
Youtube
Instagram